There are some things in life one cannot explain.
As Ed sat on that toilet,
he knew he was going to die.
He knew it in the same way
he knew he had to go number two.
“Shit, shit,” he said
as he tore wads of toilet paper and cleaned himself.
He felt his heart going.
Death was imminent.
He had read somewhere that Elvis Presley had died on his throne.
What a shitty way to go.
Ed resolved it would not happen to him.
They found Ed’s body in a lawn chair,
a serene look on his face,
and toilet paper under one shoe.