I ever tell you the story about my red dangle earrings?
It was Treat Yourself day.
I lounged in my garden,
dressed all bougie,
minding my own Goddamn business,
when it happened.
Damn near screamed when I felt the thrumming on my face.
It was a hummingbird,
and it was angry.
Little bastard chased me around the yard.
It was my earrings!
He thought I was witholding his sweet nectar.
I put that feeder out after that.
Never wore the earrings again.
I think it’s best we stay inside.
I think that might be him.